10 Manners All Boys Should Know
Do you ever feel like manners are becoming a lost art? I hear so many boys out there acting without manners and it makes me cringe. My son isn’t perfect and his manners could alway use improvement (probably mine as well), but I do think it’s important and essential to teach certain manners to our children at a young age. By starting early, if possible, it’s more likely for the manners to become a habit that they will use through out their life.
There are many benefits for boys to know and use manners.
- Others will respect them.
- They are showing respect to others.
- Others will be more accepting of them and their thoughts, ideas and plans.
- Get better summer jobs.
- Impressing girls.
- Impressing parents and grandparents.
10 Essential Manners for Boys
1. Saying “Please”, “Thank You” and “Excuse Me”
Teach them to say, “Please”, anytime they are asking anyone to do something for them. Also, when someone asks them a question, the answer shouldn’t be, “Yeah”, but, “Yes Please”.
Teach them to say, “Thank You”, anytime anyone (this includes from friends, parents & siblings) says something nice to them or pays them a compliment. Also, when someone asks them a question and the answer is ‘No”, it should be “No Thank You”.
Saying, “Excuse Me”, is the right thing to say anytime your son sneezes, burps, tries to get in front of someone (not cutting, just getting around), or is trying to get someone’s attention. Teach your son to not use the phrase, “Hey You”, but to say, “Excuse Me”, instead to get that person’s attention.
2. Saying “Ma’am” or “Sir”
In some parts of the country these terms are used more than in other areas. When I lived in Ohio, we didn’t really use “Ma’am” or “Sir”. Actually it was sometimes thought as offensive to call a lady a “Ma’am”. When I moved to Texas, everyone said it. I thought it was a little strange at first, but it made me realize that those words actually seem to make the teens respect older folks more. My children were teens when we moved to Texas, they were not accustomed to use those words, but it was the right thing to teach them. It wasn’t as easy as teaching them manners when they were little, but we (all) learned to use those words. Yes, you can still use the phrase, “Yes, thank you” but “Yes, Sir” or “Yes Ma’am”, is an excellent substitute. Even though this isn’t a common phrase up North, I have noticed when we visit, and my kids say, “Ma’am” and “Sir”, people alway compliment on how respectful and what great manners my teens have. It’s amazing what a little word can do!
3. Talking and Listening to Adults
Boys will have to talk to adults all throughout their childhood, wether it’s a parent, teacher, store clerk or coach. Not much can make an adult angrier than when trying to have a conversation with a boy and that boy is caught up in a video game, iPod or any other distraction. Teach your son that when he is talking to an adult, to put his game or distraction away and talk, listen and focus on the adult. It is ok for a boy to ask “Can we talk later?” if he is working on something important like school work or a chore. But he needs to remember to go back to that adult and talk. Have your son put the game down, remove the earbuds and take the time to have a real conversation.
4. Shaking Hands
Teaching your son to shake hands can help them with gaining trust of older people. Your son will need to practice shaking hands to feel comfortable doing this and to learn to be more gentle with ladies and have a firmer shake with men. They should learn to wait for a person to offer a handshake, which usually comes from an older person.
5. Answering the Phone
So many kids have cell phones now, and they need to be taught the proper way to answer a phone call. Teach them to speak clearly and pleasantly. If you have a quiet son, like mine, you will have to teach them to speak up so others can hear them. Teach them when answering, to say, “Hello, this is Joe”, or, “Hello, Joe speaking”. If it’s a house phone, “Hello, this is the Smith residence”, or if they know who’s calling “Hello George, this is Joe”. There are a number of ways you can do this based on what information you want your child to share. Just establish this ahead of time so they know how to properly answer and greet someone on the phone.
Of course, always teach safety when answering the phone. There are so many scam calls trying to steal your information. Let your child know if it is ok for them to answer the phone or to just let it ring and let the voicemail capture the call.
6. Winning & Losing Well
I see so many boys creating enemies over winning and losing. This is a great manner to teach as early as possible because this can become a really bad habit of being prideful or throwing a temper tantrum in winning and losing situations. Boys need to understand that if they are winning, rubbing it in to others will only make others want to de-friend them. No one really makes or keep friends by bragging about how great you are. Teach them to say, “Good game” or “Thank you”, when a compliment has been given for how great they did and winning the game.
We all know losing stinks and it’s no fun. When it does happen, teach your son to say, “Good game” or “Congratulations”, to the winner (in a nice way). Then if they are bothered by the loss, help them to understand why they lost and how they can improve next time. But ask them in a way that they have to think about what they can do to improve. If you tell them why they lost, they can view that as criticism and it can be harmful to their self-image.
7. How to Act in Places they Are Bored
At some point and usually often, boys will be somewhere they are completely bored. Often times, this is when they misbehave the most, not because they are bad children, but because they are bored! You will need to teach them to cope with these situations so it doesn’t get worse as they grow older. If at the theatre, teach them to keep their eyes focused on the actors and on the stage. Help them to understand that even though it’s a boring situation, it will be over soon. Give them a time of when it will be over if possible. Teach them ways to occupy their mind by creating a story in their head, imagining a fun place they love or singing a song in their head. If at a doctor’s office, help them pre-plan what they can do during the “boring” times.
8. Walking in Front of Other People
We all always have to walk in front of someone at sometime or another. For example, in the movies to get to your seat or at a ball game.
There are two ways to do this. Either with your rear end in someone’s face or facing them. I surely don’t like when a rear is in my face! How about you?! People would rather see your face. Teach your child to say, “Excuse me”, as they are walking through. They don’t need to say “Sorry” unless they stepped on someone’s foot.
If possible, teach them to be on time for everything, this could prevent the awkwardness of plowing through a group of seated people.
Alway say, “Excuse me”, if they need to get around someone for any reason. They need to know that to use this phrase isn’t meant to say, “Move out of my way”, but a polite way to really say, “I’m sorry, I need to get around you”.
9. Opening the Door For Others
This manner is a great one to teach boys. The only challenge is, my son often get’s stuck holding a door for a while! This is just a polite thing to do for others, and others really recognize this trait in boys. This is when should they hold the door: When someone is coming right behind them, for a group of people that are walking together, a mom with a stroller or small children, an elderly person or couple. This is also a great thing to teach them with car doors for their momma. My son almost always opens and closes the car door for me. It is so sweet and I know his future wife will appreciate this tons.
10. Taking off Their Hat
This manner seems to be losing its way more and more with each generation. But it’s an important one and shows respect. Sometimes a hat can cover the face too much and it makes it difficult to have a conversation with that person. When should a hat be removed? When you sit down to eat, in any restaurant or anyone’s house. In a classroom or church. During the National Anthem and the Pledge of Allegiance or whenever the American flag is passing by. Remove the hat when being introduced to another person, especially an older person.
These are just a few important manners that I have felt essential in teaching my son over the years. I believe that manners help to Build Better Relationships with everyone through out your entire life. It shows your respect and honor for others. It’s another way to show people you care. Keep an eye out for 10 More Essential Manners for Your Son.
Have you read the 10 Manners All Girls Should Know or our latest post Can You Change Your Husband To Be Perfect?
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Tag:children, discipline, Parenting, Self Image, teens
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29 Comments
Excellent suggestions! May I offer an addendum to teaching young people to shake hands when being introduced or introducing him/herself? Make eye contact with the other person and make sure that you have his or her name correct. Likewise, be sure to introduce yourself clearly.
I completely agree Margaret! This is something I work on with my son all the time. Eye contact is so important and shows respect to others. And for having the name correct, you are absolutely right! This is something I work on everyday. It amazes me how fast I lose a name after meeting someone. Do you have any secret tips on remembering names?
First sentence error #10.?
Thank you! I found it and fixed it. I Appreciate your help 🙂
I am one of those picky persons to whom words and grammar are distracting. Please understand that I mean these comments in a friendly way, intended only to add to the excellent guidelines you offer.
“Excuse me” should be used when one is leaving the presence of another, as when leaving the dinner table, or a person or group conversation to join another group (as at a party).
“Pardon me” should be used after committing an “offence”, such as a sneeze, burp, etc. It should be used when passing between or in front of people, or if one bumps into another.
When passing in front of seated people in order to reach one’s seat in church, a theater, etc., my personal preference is definitely that the person should pass with his back to me. I’d rather have his backside in my face than his “front side” if it’s someone I don’t know very well. The back is much less personal.
As to shaking hands, a man or boy should never reach out to shake a girl’s or woman’s hand unless she offers first. (Kissing her hand is a custom I don’t know enough about to comment.) (I once had a strong aversion to a man who always would reach for my hand to shake; he just wanted to touch me, and it was an affront.)
Excellent advice! There are so many manners and ways to achieve them. I find the variation of manners in different parts of the country and world very interesting. When I lived in the North, we would say, “please?”, instead of “what?” or “I didn’t understand you, can you repeat that”. Thank you for visiting Islenya!
You need to trash your auto-spellcheck. Or at least reread your copy.
You are absolutely right Elizabeth! It’s amazing how many times you can read over your own work and miss things. I had quite a few mistakes in there (and probably still do). Really, I need a full-time editor by my side! Thank you for letting me know! Have a wonderful day.
Great article! Manners are definitely in short supply these days. I’d like to add another. My parents taught my brother to stand up when a woman leaves the table(to go to the powder room or to leave). I’ve seen grown women-usually from a certain generation-brought to tears by this.
That is a another great tip and manner! One I didn’t think of, and one that I think we will start working on. My son goes to his 1st prom next month, and that would be a great place to use this manner! Thank you!!! Have a great day 🙂
This is very good advice for parents of boys. However, I was constantly distracted by the spelling and grammatical errors. I may be “old school,” but when I came along being able to spell and write grammatically, along with having manners, were all just part of being a gentleman.
Thank you Old School Guy for pointing out my mistakes and errors. As you can tell, my major in college was not English or Grammar. And I’m definitely not a perfect writer. I’m glad you could muddle through to find the good advice. Have a great day 🙂
Hats drive me crazy. You should not be wearing a hat inside. Hats are for when you are outside!
I agree. My husband and I were in a very nice restaurant a couple of weeks ago and I was surprised to see so many hats in there.
You are spot on.
I heard Ivanka Trump say the other night that everyday their dad said : no drinking, no Smoking No drugs!
They minded him. Look at how poised the children are. That is the measure of success of parenting, I believe.
Thank you Mary 🙂
Something that comes to mind immediately is “interrupting a conversation” . Unfortunately this is a problem with all age groups, however; interrupting with “Mommy watch this” or “can I have a snack?” or drumming fingers, talking out loud to themselves, climbing all over their “adult”, sitting on tables, jumping on furniture(theirs or someone else’s), etc……any/all distractions that are a showing of disrespect to those involved in conversation. Constant interruptions also indicate a lack of self-respect. Learning to listen for a break in the conversation and use their manners, rather than interrupt is the first step in becoming a good listener….which will also help in every aspect of life and in every relationship! Respect is what manners are all about!!
I do notice this Lorie, and you are right. It happens in all age groups, adults too. I know it can be so hard sometimes to wait to get in our words, but I really feel that learning to not interrupt is so important (unless, of course, there is an emergency). Manners do come down to respect. Thanks for visiting and commenting! I hope you have a wonderful week 🙂
Your graceful response to criticism and comment is a truly fine example of manners. It’s one which everyone might benefit from more these days. I suspect that you accept compliments with equal grace.
Some readers might not be aware that the proper way to address errors in the writing (or speaking) of others is also codified in the tomes of “correct manners” and the method demonstrated by most is highly impolite.
Thank you CoachTMBSC. Your words are kind. Criticism is never easy. I have learned over the years, that there is usually some truth in what others say when it comes to the not-so-nice-things. I always try to respond to negativity, the best way I can, and look at the possibility that I may need improvement somewhere. And it is clear, that my writing is not the best, and can alway be improved on (I’m looking at grammar programs now!). But sometimes, the negative things that are said, just need to be brushed off, you just never know what kind of day that other person is having. I do love compliments! I think they make everyone smile inside. 🙂 I hope you have a great day and thank you for taking the time to visit and comment.
Lorie, Not interrupting is so very important. I appreciate your reminder.
So glad the coach posted what he did about your graceful response to criticism. Your list of manners are spot on and I will be passing a copy along to my nephew. He applies most of them already, but he could use a reminder.
I was impressed by the 10 suggestions. However, I am older and have recently been in the company of young adults. There are a limited number of chairs and not one of the young men offered their seat. If you are an able bodied young man sitting in a chair and you see an older person standing due to a lack of chairs, at least offer yours to that person!
Thank you Mary. I agree with you about young men offering up their seat, that is an excellent point and a manner often forgotten and overlooked. I’m in the process of writing a book on manners, I will add that one in. Thank you for the comment and I hope you have a wonderful week 🙂
Sometimes its hard to always remember that our kids are always watching us and need to be learning these things from the examples that we set for them. My oldest boy is only 4 and does pretty good with most of these, but I can already tell that we have some serious work to do on #’s 6 and 7 of the list.
My only contribution that I would have added is a whole bullet point for “How to respect a girl.” Whether it be their mother, sister, classmate, spouse, girlfriend, co-worker, or stranger – I think that our society in general is losing respect for women and results are disheartening. But I think that this is the biggest difference between real men and old little boys.
Thanks for the insight.
Excellent point. I tell my teenage boys that they need to respect a girl even when she does not seem to respect herself. There are far too many young women with little or no self respect these days. A true gentleman never takes advantage.
I agreed with all except the one about answering the phone with one’s name or the name of the residence. That was applicable before so many scam phone calls. Nowadays, it is simply not safe to do that.
I agree with you Marilee. The whole phone thing lately is a little concerning. Even just saying “yes” on one of those spam calls can be a problem. I should rewrite to say; when a child answers their personal phone (or their parent’s cell), and they know who is calling, then follow polite etiquette when answering whether it’s a friend or family member.
Eating with others (especially as a guest in someone else’s home), teach them NOT to say, “EW! I don’t like that! or “EW! What’s that?!”. It is rude. I was required to do one of two things: either quietly pass it on to the next person and say nothing OR take at least one spoonful and try it. It may be prepared differently than I had eaten it before and who know, I might like it! If I did not like it AFTER trying it I was not forced to continue to eat it (and if I did not like it….”EW! was not an acceptable response!). At home, my mother was not a short order cook. She did not cook ONLY things I liked. Children need to learn that the world does not revolve around them.