Does your husband really need Guy Time? YES.
If you want your husband to be a better husband, give him the Guy Time he needs. He comes back a better man, husband and father when he’s had a time to be a guy! To quiet himself down. To relax without any of the stresses of life. Just like wives need Girl Time, they need Guy Time!
There are some instances when men schedule Guy Time without thinking about the family or his wife first. And it’s not always because he’s trying to get away from you or trying to be impolite about family duties. He just forgets or doesn’t think about it the same way we do. There are times when he does it on purpose though, and it may be to get away from you, ouch, I know, right!
But why would he want to get away from you?
It could be for a number of reasons, none that we’re getting into here in this post. But if you’re curious what some of the reasons might be, check out our post on Neurotic Wives or any of the posts in the 31 Days to a Better Marriage Series.
What we will focus on here is why we don’t “let” our guys have Guy Time and what the consequences to that is.
Some wives get outright hostile and pouty about their husband wanting Guy Time. They can become resentful that their husband wants to take time away from them and or the family. Especially to spend it with their guy-friends!
Why do we get so hostile? We often want girl time and don’t expect him to be upset about that. So what’s the deal?
Reasons Why We Don’t Want Him To Have Guy Time
- Fear that your husband may not enjoy your company.
- You don’t know how to be alone, or don’t like to be alone.
- You are envious of your husband’s ability to have friends and hobbies.
- Worried that his friends may influence him in a negative way.
- You don’t trust him and think he is having an affair, when there is no real reason to believe this.
- You want to be the center of attention in his life.
- You expect too much of him in domestic chores.
What you may not realize is that your husband probably had Guy Time before he met you… before he married you. And most likely you were ok with it. Some women think that after they get married that their husband will become domesticated and stop all of his prior activities, likes, hobbies, interests and forget all about his guy friends. But who would willingly sign up for that deal? I wouldn’t. I’m sure your husband didn’t sign up for that either!
Reasons Why Your Husband Needs Guy Time
- He had it before, it shouldn’t be something he loses just because he married you.
- He will come back refreshed from hanging out with the guys.
- He will appreciate you more for not keeping him from Guy Time.
- He will be more willing to help you with what you need and be there for you to have Girl Time!
- He needs a time to de-stress from work and the everyday pressures of life. Needs time to rest.
- He needs to remember what it is to be a man and to do man things, especially if he is in a home of all females.
- He needs time to reflect.
- He may want to do an activity that you don’t like or are not willing to do.
When you realize who the man is you married along with all of his ways of being, and you accept him for who he is, your life will become much easier and you will be much happier. There is nothing more insane than trying to change someone into something they are not. It doesn’t work. It’s not our job.
There is one of two ways you can have your marriage:
#1 Be angry all the time trying to change your husband making both of you miserable.
#2 Accept who he is and adjust your thinking and way of treating him
If you opt for #1, when your husband begins to realize you don’t value him or he feels that you don’t think he or his time is important, he won’t be around long, whether emotionally or physically. Option #1 is NOT the way to keep a husband!
Opting for #2 makes both of you happier. You start looking for and focusing on the good about your husband. You can see the things you appreciate about him. He feels important in your eyes. He feels loved. Your marriage becomes a good thing.
I feel and have seen many times that most women take their husbands for granted. Many women (and I was there early on in our marriage) want to mold their husbands into the image they have in their minds of what a husband should be.
Everyone needs a little down time. We as women process and need a quiet time in a different than our husbands. Both of you need to refresh from time to time so you can give your best to your marriage. Give your husband the respect he deserves and don’t try to stop him from enjoying his Guy Time. Just like you, when he comes back from his Guy Time, he will feel like a better man (well, you won’t feel like a man!) and ready for the next set of challenges life throws at him.
Simply talk to him and let him know that you are open to his Guy Time any time he needs it, but if he could just let you know ahead of time if possible so you can plan accordingly. And if he forgets to mention it, let it go. Adjust your plans. Some things come up at the last minute for him and for you. If you are both flexible and communicate as much as possible, you will have less conflict and resentment.
Yes, Guy Time, is very important and necessary!
Don’t let him life without it!
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