Is there a fight going on in your home to lead the family? Is your husband trying to lead but you’re not helping? You may actually be hurting him and your family without even realizing it.
Biblically, I believe that the husband should lead the family. I didn’t always think that way. I “wore the pants” for many years in our young marriage. As a teen I came to the conclusion that I needed to be able to take care of myself and not rely on anyone else to lead me or take care of me. Therefore, if I was in charge, then there was nothing to worry about. However, after being married, I was not all that great at leading our family. I was not all that graceful and beautiful being in charge. When I’m in charge, I sure become very bossy. My face gets serious, the scowl comes out (that scowl is how we get permanent lines in our face ladies). I didn’t really like who I was becoming.
Once I learned to let go , I became more relaxed and less old-looking as I learned to let my husband lead. It wasn’t easy for me, and sometimes I still have a little trouble. I’m naturally a leader and feel that I need to be in charge of something, at all times, ask my friends! Learning to let someone take care of me has been one of my greatest victories. I love being adored and cared for. I love someone else looking out for me and guiding me. I love being a helper.One of the biggest consequences to dual-leading is your children don’t know which parent to listen to. Click To Tweet
Side note: Regardless of what you believe, only one of you can lead. You will need to make that decision together, of who is going to lead. Make a plan and stick together on it. Togetherness and unity is better than fighting and worrying about who is leading the family.
Let’s get back to the roots of why we should be helping our husband and not hurting them. God created us to be his helper (It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him. – Genesis 2:18 ). To support him. To help him be strong and encourage him to lead us in this crazy world. He, your husband, has many responsibilities and pressures as a man. Don’t stand against him. He was made for you just as much as you were made for him!
When it comes to marriage and family, two heads competing lead no where. You’re not on the same page and the home can become chaotic.
One of the biggest consequences to dual-leading is your children don’t know which parent to listen to. If you override your husbands rules, then your children will too. If you’re disrespectful to your husband, your children will be too, especially your daughters. They will become wives that do the same to their husbands as you’re doing to yours.
So the question is:
What is so wrong with letting your husband lead?
Why can’t YOU let your husband lead?
What will happen if your husband leads?
What if he makes a mistake?
Is your answer is: you know the kids better, or you know how to run the family better. Maybe it’s, your independent, you can handle it all on your own.
Then let me ask, why did you get married?
A marriage is a partnership, a team. One person has to lead, the other is support. Both are equally important and both are needed to run a partnership, team and family effectively and successfully.A marriage is a partnership, a team. One person has to lead, the other is support. Both are equally important. Click To Tweet
When you are in opposition to him, or not helping him, you are hurting him. And you are hurting him much more than you think. Believe it or not, men have feelings, sometimes more sensitive feelings than us women. Don’t ask them to admit it, just keep it our little secret!
If you have a son, watch how he interacts with someone that hurts his feelings. Do you treat your son like a precious gift and try to protect him and his feelings? Some call it babying our sons. Regardless of what it is, why aren’t we doing that for our husbands? Are they too manly to have us love on them and take care of them like we do our sons? Do we expect too much? Are our standards too high for our husbands, or anyone for that matter? Do we expect perfection from him, when we fall short of that same perfection ourselves?
He’s human. He has feelings. He needs your compassion, love, trust, encouragement and support.
8 Keys to Help Your Husband Lead:
- Support him.
- Let him make mistakes.
- Know that he’s not perfect.
- Discuss decisions before hand and afterwards, alone, without the kids around.
- Respect your husband.
- Show him that you can be a team player.
- Pray for him. Allow God to be in charge of him, not you be in charge of your husband.
- If you trust God to lead your husband, then you should be able to trust your husband, while he’s being led by God.
Don’t let the enemy tear your family apart over something that can be controlled by you. It’s up to you to make your family better. No one ever said change is easy, but it is possible. Take one day at a time, start over as many times as you need.
Question: How do you help your husband?