Do you ever notice that there are some people that always try to one-up someone else on a story they are telling, whether negative or positive? You know, you’re telling about the fender bender you were just in over the weekend and then someone you know, butts right in to tell you about their traumatic near fatal car accident that happened 20 years ago.
Maybe one day you’re telling how you just got over a torn ACL, and next thing you know, you’re hearing a story about a coma that the “one-up’s” friend was in.
It never ends. They are alway talking over you, interrupting you, telling about theirself. They almost can’t seem to help it. In every conversation, they feel the need to take over, to be the center of attention. This “one up’s” person usually irritates everyone else around them. They tend to lose friends or it seems the friends just naturally fade away.
Do you know a person like this? How do you feel about them?
Is this person you? If it is, please take notice before you lose any more friends or credibility!
Maybe you wonder how can I ask this question to you? The reason I can ask this, is because this has been me.
I have worked really hard over the years to try to keep my mouth zipped when it’s not necessary. People like me much better that way!
If you’re not sure if this is you, next time you’re in a conversation with a friend or a group of friends, notice how fast you chime in. Are you itching to jump in and tell about your latest and greatest? Have you totally ignored everything that your friend was saying because you wanted to be sure that you have your story right, and ready to tell it in full detail? Do you begin to tell your story before your friend is even finished speaking?
If you are noticing this, then take the initiative and stop yourself before you begin. And what I mean by begin is, when your mind starts to wander looking for your story, STOP it right there. Refocus on your friend and what they are saying. Show compassion and that you care about her. Listen intently. Wait until she is done talking, then ask her a question about her story, that has nothing to do with you.
Go against every urge in your body and DON’T tell your story, unless you’re asked.
This will be one of the hardest things you do.
But those around you will appreciate it more than you can know. They may even actually ask if you are okay! They aren’t used to you not interrupting and telling your story. They may even ask you for a story or if you can relate to what they are talking about.
Maybe they won’t, and you have to be okay with that. It’s not that they don’t like you, because they do. They just are more interested in theirselves (unfortunately). You have to be okay with that too.
Learn to be a good listener. Learn to be compassionate about others and that requires hearing out their whole story without chiming in.
As I always say, You Can Do This! If I can, you can!
Photo Credit: (c) Can Stock Photo