Children are starving for relationships more than ever. In an age where we have unlimited and easy access to people as far away as the other side of the world, why do children feel that they are not able to connect with anyone? Why do they feel that no one cares about them or is listening.
It’s evident with the bullying stories that we hear about everyday. I know bullying has been around since time began. But doesn’t today seem worse than ever?
Why are kids not connecting? Why are they seeking any kind of relationship, whether good or bad? And usually they gravitate towards the bad.
40% of kids today, live in a home without their biological father. And many kids haven’t seen their father in the last 12 months. Those numbers shouldn’t be that high. When the father is missing in the home, this has a direct impact on the children’s relationships now and in their future.
Many children also deal with devastating divorces. With the divorce rate at 50% and along with separation and the rates soar to 66-70%. Children, almost any age, have a hard time processing divorce. Their minds can conceive a million different ways why the separation is their fault, leaving them with the lack of confidence to build healthy relationships. Turning to anyone that will give them attention and love.
56% of parents with 6 year old children and under work outside the home. 42% of K-3rd graders are home alone after school waiting for a parent to get home.
Over 26 millions kids live in an alcoholic home.
All of these things affects our children. It impacts how they relate to others. What type of relationships they will be in as they age.
They are starving for our attention. They are starving for relationships.
When they can’t find a good relationship, someone to care for them. Someone to pay attention to them. Someone to love them, they turn to the internet, drugs, alcohol, sex, cutting, overachieving, and suicide. Everyone of these things are scary for any parent, if they care!
We were not made to be alone.
We were made for relationships.
When children don’t feel like they are in a relationships where someone cares for them, then they feel like their purpose of being here is pointless. When any of these statistics are going on in their home, they can feel lost and unneeded.
Point? Take the time to seek out your children. Some of these statistics can’t be avoided. Sometimes divorce happens. Many moms & dads have to work outside the home to survive. That’s ok.
Just remember the little ones in your lives need you. They need as much of you as they can get. Every moment matters to them.
If you think that things will get easier when they are teens, you have been mislead. I believe teens need you more than when they were little. Sure they are more independent and “know better”. But they need you during adolescents more than any other time. Their world is changing and has been turned upside down. It’s not just a “teen thing”, it’s biological thing.
Raising children is no easy task. Helping them grow into healthy adults can seem daunting.
If you are struggling, seek help. Turn to your parents, trusting friends that have been there already, church or counseling. Get the help you need so you can help your children. If you see a child struggling and lonely, step-up and be that mentor they need, with the parents permission.
How To Build Relationships With Your Children:
- Spend quality time with them. Put away all electronic devices and give them your undivided attention. Schedule this time in your calendar if needed.
- Listen to them, whether they are small or teens. If they bring a concern to you, even if you thinks it’s not a problem, help them through it. They think it’s an unsurmountable issue. They need help, they need your guidance and security.
- Saying “because I said so” doesn’t work for children. Can you imagine saying that to your best friend? What kind of relationship would you have with her? Kids need to understand, need explanations. This helps them to build relational skills.
- Love on your children. Let them know how great and valuable they are. Build them up. Give them confidence in who they are. Help them to stand strong.
- Be the relationship your child needs. Yes, you still have to be the parent, but build solid relationships with your children.
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