One of the non-compassionate things we can do to our men is belittle them into being a non-sensitive and non-caring person. Our society continues to damage our men on a daily basis. From their masculinity to their sensitivity. Almost making them non-existent and unimportant in society, in the marriage and in the family unit.
But in reality, our men are very important to society and our families. Without them, we don’t exist, no matter what the media, scientist or men-haters try to tell you!
Yes, our husbands should be the masculine presence in our homes, but just because they are supposed to be the strong one, the one that nothing bothers them, the one that has no feelings, that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Just as we do, men have feelings. They can be very sensitive. And there is nothing wrong with it either. If you have children and have at least one son, you probably have noticed how sensitive he can be. How his feelings can be hurt… quite easily. Those feelings don’t magically disappear just because they become adults.
Those feelings can be suppressed because it looks like a weakness to our society. But our husbands have great feelings. They are very sensitive. They need us to notice their feelings and be sensitive to those feelings.
You would never berate your son or put him down because he is sad, upset, crying or heart-broken. Why would you do it to your husband? Our husbands experience deep pain when we treat him as stupid and as if he has no feelings. It’s almost abuse. Gender abuse! We don’t do this to our women-friends. We have been taught by society that if men express their feelings, they are weak. So… if he shows those feelings then we should be the ones to let him know that it’s not ok to be like that. Ouch! Why do we do this?
Men are not as forthcoming with their feelings as we wives are. Sometimes because of that, it is often thought that they just don’t have feelings, or at least the same kind we have.
As women, we are used to emotions, crying, outbursts, temper-tantrums. This is the way we express our emotions, our feelings. Men don’t express feelings in the same way, but that should not be mistaken as they don’t have any feelings.
They are not usually leading with their feelings and can be somewhat hidden. When we walk through the door after being gone for the day, we’re ready to unleash the details of the day, good and bad. In most cases, our husbands don’t do the same thing. It’s surely not because nothing happened in their world that day.
Where we have our mothers, friends and confidants to express our feelings to, men don’t usually have that same support system to express their feelings. They do have a support system, well at least they hope they do. That support system is YOU! They need you to be there for them to listen to them, to allow them to express their feelings any way they need to. For you to listen to them without any judgment or without piping in with your opinion and answers to their problems. They don’t want answers from you, they just need an ear to listen to them. If you are not that person that will listen to them, they will eventually find someone else that will listen.
10 Signs That He Needs You
How can you notice when they need to talk when they aren’t very forthcoming? Here are a few signs:
- Hurt in their eyes
- Stress in their stooped posture
- Pain in their silence
- Fear in their hyperactivity
- Anger in their tenseness
- Seem distant
- They stay physically close to you
- Yell in anger
- Take their emotions out on anyone nearby
- Silent and retreats
Don’t translate these signs into annoyances as many women and wives do. These are cry-out signs that they need you. That they are having a tough day. That they need a hug and some love. They need you to be tender to them. They need you to listen.
Part of learning to notice them is noticing their emotions and feelings, showing them that you understand them, respect them and appreciate them. Show love to them. Shower them with love. Don’t be the wife that is the constant brunt of negativity about everything he does, says or feels. Don’t be that wife!
When you hear other women bashing their husbands, please don’t join in, even if you are mad at him about something. Don’t be that wife! Be the wife that smothers her husband with compliments and love in front of others, especially those other complaining wives! Be a Bragger no a Bagger!
Whatever you do, will come back to you. It’s the Law of Sowing and Reaping. Just like there is the Law of Gravity and you cannot stop it, you cannot stop the Law of Sowing and Reaping. It will come back to you. So make your actions good ones! When you fill your husbands needs, emotional and physically he will reward you, you will be blessed.
Men want to know that we desire them and love them. They need to know that they are being recognized for their way of providing and protect their families. For satisfying you however they do. They need to be noticed!
Watch those looks ladies! Your simple look of disproval, disgust, dislike will tear them down in an instant. They can more easily survive a prison camp than your look of disapproval. Your approval is as important as oxygen is to them! Your lack of approval is emasculating to them. Don’t be that wife!
What does your husband need?
- He needs to feel strong and needed as the protector of you.
- He wants to feel that he is capable of running the family, even if he doesn’t do it perfect.
- He wants respect, kindness and love from you.
- He would love you to put him on a pedestal and not everything else in your life above him. He needs this because he wants to be so needed and loved by you. He wants to feel important to someone, and he’s hoping it will be you.
- He needs you to need his strength throughout your life. His physical and emotional strength.
- He wants you to depend on him as being strong and understanding.
- He needs approval of actually being a man, husband and father, even if he’s not perfect at those things.
- He wants you to show interest in his interests. Just being there is important, even if its something you don’t get or like.
- He would love you to greet him with love and excitement when he comes home from work vs negativity and complaints.
- He needs you to care about the day he had.
- He wants to know that he sexually satisfies you.
- He needs your encouragement, everyday!
Bottom line. Your husband NEEDS YOU! He needs you to be there for him. He needs you to be caring and loving towards his feelings, because he has lots of them. He needs you to be nice to him. He needs you to brag on him!
HE NEEDS YOU!
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