Your Spouse is NOT the Key to Your Happiness

Did you find your perfect soul-mate, the one that is bringing you happiness and the perfect life? You feel you couldn’t be any happier, that you couldn’t have made a more perfect choice.

But let me ask you a question…have you wrapped your happiness around this other person? Or have you let your happiness come solely from this other person?

If you can answer yes to this, your marriage may be on dangerous ground. Ground that will crumble beneath you. You may have built your relationship on sand instead of a sturdy foundation. You may have built your marriage on a feeling instead of a commitment.  

Your happiness should not and can not be wrapped up and depended on your spouse. He or she is not the Key to your happiness. Thinking you found that person to finally make you happy will only lead to failure and more unhappiness.

It is wrong and dangerous if you are putting the responsibility of making your spouse into your happy-maker. Your happiness needs to be grounded in the right place. Within you. Brought on by God. Not in your spouse or any other person for that matter.

Happiness can’t be found in another person. It never will be. We are here to love and serve each other, but it is not each person’s responsibility to make someone else happy. That is a heavy burden for someone to bear if they are required to make and keep someone else happy.

So, if your spouse isn’t supposed to make you happy, how do you find your happiness?

Your happiness needs to be grounded in a real foundation. God tells that if we follow what’s in His Word, we inherit a book of living, the perfect gift, one that makes you happy. The foundation of happiness if found in the Word. Within God. He’s the only one that can supply you with happiness if you are willing to follow His instruction and inherit His Book of living.

If you are seeking your happiness in your spouse, at some point you are going to have to release them from that responsibility and seek your happiness in the only place that it can come from.

When you become stable in your source of happiness and realize that you are responsible for yourself, then you can move on to the next step of your relationship and find true love between each other.

When we release our spouses from burdens they aren’t meant to carry, then they are able to focus more on what matters. They, you, can focus on serving each other in the marriage. You can learn to focus on each other strengths and how to use them to strengthen your marriage.

7 Steps to Find Your Happiness

1. Release Your Spouse. Release him or her from being the one to make you happy. Find your true source of happiness.
2. Ask God for Guidance. The guidance and direction you need to find the happiness you seek can only come from God. He is the source of true joy and happiness.
3. Study the Word. Find what it says on joy, peace and love. If you need to, Google “joy scriptures” – “peace scriptures” – “love scriptures” to help you begin the search in your Bible on happiness.
4. Notice the Good. Count the good things in your life, your blessings. We often overlook the good stuff when we are feeling down. I willing to bet there is at least one good thing in your life. Once you begin to actively seek what is good, you will find more.
5. Be Happy For Each Other. Instead of trying to find happiness within each other, be happy for each other. Be excited and proud of each other’s accomplishments, no matter how big or small.
6. Dream Again and With Each Other. Did you forget about dreaming together like you did when you were engaged? Dream again. Find happiness together.
7. Serve Your Spouse and Others. When we take our eyes off of ourselves and focus on others we lessen the down feelings we have. Serve your spouse, do for him or her what you wish they would do for you.

Should We Seek Happiness?

I believe that our purpose isn’t to necessarily seek happiness, but instead, it’s a result of seeking God and following his instruction on living a great life. A life that He wants for you. When we do that, then happiness comes. When we are following what we are supposed to do, then we are content and feel safe.

Just like a child or a teen, when they are not following their parent’s rules and instructions, they don’t feel at peace. They may feel that they are having fun and living their own life, but peace doesn’t usually happen.