Did You Set Your Goals as a Couple Yet?

January is gone already, can you believe it?! Once again, time is passing by faster than I would ever like it to. It’s so funny, when we were kids, we would wish the time away, now that we’re mostly adults, we want to stop time or reverse it.

Before this year gets too much further, there are a few things to think about. One being, goals. Yes everyone has been talking about them since January 1st (and now starting to forget about them). It’s the natural thing to think about. It’s a new year, a time of renewing. A time for setting new goals. A time to think about our life and what we haven’t accomplished and where we would like to be in life.

When you think about those goals, do you think about setting goals for your marriage or family?

I don’t think most people do, at least it wasn’t something I thought about. Usually I would set goals based on what kind of success I wanted this coming year. Along the lines of health, personal or financial. I just didn’t think about setting them for my marriage or family. The thought just didn’t enter my mind. Maybe I have just been too selfish, or maybe we just haven’t been taught to put our families out in front of everything else!

What I’ve learned is when we don’t set goals or plans, there is NO chance of success. Success does not happen on it’s own. It doesn’t just pop up in your life and say, yay, you did it!

Success comes from planning, setting goals, writing them out and working daily towards them.
Well, marriage and family is the same way. There is no successful marriage or family without planning, preparing and working on it daily, forever!

Your marriage and family will surely fail, or hit too many bumps in the road, that are painful and could’ve been avoided if there was just a little planning and goal setting done.

I challenge you to think again about your goals for this year.

This time include your marriage and your family.

January is over. Now you have time to really assess what you need to do for this year. You probably can already see how things are going and where improvement and work needs to happen.

If you can, sit down with your spouse and set these goals together. If you’re spouse isn’t interested, you can still do this. Set goals for you though, not what you think your spouse should be doing! Keep these goals to yourself and work on them daily. If you need to tell your spouse what they are, then when you don’t accomplish them, it could be something that could cause tension later. If you need to tell someone, find an accountable friend for family member, that will encourage you and not hold any judgement against you if you miss your goal lines.

If you’re not sure how to go about setting goals, many people use the SMART system for business, you can use this system for setting personal goals related to your marriage or family as well.

SMART stands for:

• Specific – Be very specific with your goals, don’t just say you want a better marriage, but what you want in your marriage. (ex. More quality time)
• Measurable – Make your goals measurable. You won’t be able to manage what you can’t measure. (ex: I need to spend 15 minutes alone with my husband everyday)
• Actionable – Every goal should be something you can do. It should start with an action verb (e.g., “quit,” “run,” “finish,” “eliminate,” etc.) (ex: I will set a reminder on my phone to remember and get in the habit of spending alone time with my husband)
• Realistic – Don’t commit yourself to more than you can do or have time for. If you don’t have 15 minutes everyday, then choose to do it for 3 days out of the week.
• Time-bound – Have a date that you want to have your goal completed or have created a new habit by. Do you want to accomplish this goal by June? Or by the end of the year. Set a specific time.

Ideas for setting marriage & family goals:

• Communication
• Date Nights
• Quality Time
• Make time for Romance
• Family vacation
• Building a business together
• Spending time with each child
• Praying together
• Serving together
• Give compliments (instead of complaints)
• Give your spouse quiet time
• Get on a schedule for your children

Photo Credit: (c) Can Stock Photo